Ah, Failure – The Great Teacher! They say that you only truly fail when you give up on what you’re trying to achieve. I think I agree with that statement. The rest of the ‘failures’ are merely lessons on ‘how not to do things’. When you fail…and you will; it’s not the end of the world.
Instead of wallowing in your own self-pity and chastising yourself over your shortcomings, it’s much better to take a step backward and observe your blunder in all its glory. Take stock of what went wrong and identify areas of improvement.
On your Road to Artistry, you’ll have your fair share of failures along the way. These failures, if managed correctly, can help you achieve your goals by teaching you what you shouldn’t do. While you might fail a thousand times, it only takes one victory to make them all worth it.
Today, I am going to open myself up to the world and make a case study on my latest and some could argue, the greatest failure of my life (as of now). I hope that we can all learn from my mistakes and incorporate new behavioral mechanisms that will help inoculate us against future failures.
Let’s start at the beginning…
The Backstory
While I am an artist at heart, for the past eight years I have worked as a digital content creator and digital marketer while living in Mexico City. I am currently still doing this as a means of income; however, I placed more emphasis on my artistic endeavors lately. In fact, November of 2017 I decided to re-enter the world of artistry mainly because ‘not doing so’ would mean that I would never truly be happy. Roughly, ten years ago I set out on an epic adventure to the Pacific coast of Mexico. I dedicated myself purely to art, music and the artist lifestyle. This took me on the road for about a year and a half and once all funds ran dry, I was forced to look for an alternative income stream. One of the places that I visited during my journey was a little beach town called San Pancho. I immediately fell in love with the place, the culture, the people. San Pancho isn’t special because it has a lot of things to do…in fact, ten years ago the town would go to sleep at 10 PM because everything would shut down…including street lights. During that time, I was living a carefree life, playing music and building eco-homes in a place called Zubuya. Yes, life was difficult…but I was happy. San Pancho felt like I sat in a creative river flowing through the region, allowing me to write songs like there is no tomorrow. In fact, the first album I created was mostly written in San Pancho. Fast forward, a few years [post journey] and I find myself in Mexico City with very little money and no real work opportunities. This was the time that I discovered that you can make money online by writing blogs and doing other digital activities. Grabbing this lifeline, I worked round the clock and slowly built up my finances, stability, and gear. To not toot my own horn, I am pretty good at digital marketing and content creation. My clients realized that too and soon I was getting calls from all around the world. I worked on campaigns for Sony, Heineken, Apple and many more. However, there was always something missing. Something I neglected; my art. To make a long story short, while I was making money and some stability…my inner being was drying up and I was battling with depression. I felt, “Is this what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life…was my music nothing more than a bullshit dream of a young idiot?” It wasn’t until November of 2017 that I decided to pick up the mantle of the artist again. It doesn’t mean that I wasn’t writing or producing music before that…I just wasn’t dedicating the right amount of time or energy to it and it was all in vain. In November, I created Smoking Joker. A Concept band with one of my buddies. A few months later, we were gigging, rehearsing and starting to sound like a unified concept. In other areas of my life, [personal], my partner and I found ourselves in a moment of uncertainty. I won’t dive into the details of what this means, but the result of it was that we had to move from the house we were staying at. At that moment, we decided…mainly through my desires, to move to San Pancho because when I was there a decade earlier…the prices of the houses were cheap and there was plenty of opportunities to be artistic. One moment led to another, and we got our animals, packed our van and headed out to San Pancho at the end of July 2018. The problem with this was that we didn’t have much time to plan the trip. We were notified a week earlier that we had to leave and being the adventurous people we are…we decided to just go for it. As we were going over there, we talked about the possibilities and what we could do not knowing what laid ahead. The first problem that we had to deal with was getting a place to stay. One thing you should know about trying to rent long term in a vacation spot is that there are hardly any listings available online. You have to be in the region to track down the houses. Fortunately, I spoke with a friend who got us an Airbnb deal for the first two weeks. We followed the GPS to the destination, and it took us up a hill that was just too much for the van to handle. At the top of the hill, the car stalled and started rolling backward at about 60 km/h. My wife, who was driving, by the miracle of all the gods, managed to save us from dying….but in turn…the car took a hit. We eventually made it to our destination and thought, “We’ve made it!” That feeling lasted for about a day or two and then reality set in.The problem with housing
The first major problem we ran into was that the housing market, due to Airbnb, skyrocketed in costs. What used to cost $250 USD a month, now suddenly was $500-$750 a month. This was something I didn’t calculate. The other problem we ran into was that the Airbnb we were staying at was just dirty. There were fleas and bedbugs, no ventilation and the costs were kind of elevated for the conditions the house was in. Mosquitos were also a major problem. As a result, both my wife and I got Dengue and a host of other diseases. With fever, we had to walk out in the sun to track down a more long-term solution. To say the least; it was difficult as hell.The problem with the weather
The other thing I didn’t plan for was the heat. We arrived at our destination at the end of July. In this region, they have a phenomenon called “La Canicula” which is a term to describe the two hottest months of the year. The heat reached epic proportions and everyone in town told us that it was one of the hottest times in the history of the town. With the elevated heat wave, us with fever…it was imperative that we had to find a place and so…finally, after looking for a place…we found one at $500 a month. With my marketing work, this was something that I could sustain…or so I thought.The problem with the internet
Once we moved, I thought I’d sit down and work to pay the bills and the rest of the time I’d dedicate to my art. The problem was that every time a storm hit…the internet would go for days at a time. At times, there would be not even a mobile signal. As a digital worker,…this was the apocalypse. Suddenly, my work time was cut in half but my expenses kept on climbing.The problem with the prices
You would think that a small beach town in Mexico would be inexpensive. You’d be wrong! The prices were elevated because of the tourists in the region. Everything was more expensive and you’d have to walk long distances to get food [remember, the van was out of commission]. Over time, the lack of being able to work and the elevated prices caught up and eventually I was in a negative debt spiral just racking up more debt and paying more than I should have. A few months of this, I finally was able to get the van to a mechanic that works with Diesel Engines who told me that the Engine was completely totaled and to repair it would cost me $2500 USD. This was the last straw. I had to eat my pride and ask for help from my family. Now, the failure was completed. I set out to achieve a goal and fell flat on my face, with debt and a whirlwind of shit hovering around me. Now, as I’m writing this…I am preparing to go and stay with my family for a few months while I recover from the colossal failure that I now wear around my neck. But don’t worry…as I mentioned, this is a Case Study and Failure isn’t failure…it’s just a lesson to learn.IDENTIFYING THE ERRORS OF MY WAY
While I’m still sitting here in the middle of the muck, with the internet not currently working, I’m taking some time to figure out where it all went wrong. So let’s take a closer look at what went wrong.What you think isn’t what it is
The first error I can identify was believing that San Pancho was what it used to be. Everybody changes over time and so do places. What you thought something was a decade ago is not what it is today. San Pancho became infested with greed and Airbnb fueled that. Where houses used to cost a third of what it costs today, the cost of renting tripled. Airbnb made it possible for people to rent out rooms as opposed to the entire place. It also made short-term rentals more profitable. As a result, more people started renting out rooms skyrocketing the value to triple what it was. It was my mistake in not making sure that the Real Estate market was accessible. And so, we found ourselves paying more for a place with a host of problems. What did these problems include? For starters, no hot water. Every time it rained, the roof would leak and I’d have to hide all my electronics. The house was incredibly hot all the time because it was on the second floor with a brick roof…trapping the heat inside the place like an oven. This forced us to use the Air conditioning unit all day, only to find that the unit needed maintenance and was dripping about 20 liters of water per day. 2 Months later the light bill came out to $250 USD. Another thing I didn’t consider. Couple this with the fact that I didn’t have internet access for about half of the time…quickly all money I had drained up. I learned that we cannot rely on our thoughts to make an effective plan…and I learned that the hard way.Things don’t just work out
People sometimes think that if you stick to it and work hard…things will go your way. The truth is since I arrived in this place everything that could go wrong…did go wrong. Murphy was jumping for joy in his grave. I didn’t have a backup plan for all of the issues I was facing. I didn’t have another means of making money without the internet, and once my revenue stream was blocked…it took us down to miserable states economically speaking. The lesson I learned here was that you can’t simply ‘go for it’ without having contingencies in place. You need to think about at least three to five backup plans in order to make sure that you’re not left high and dry when you’re working on your dreams.My work schedule had to change
When I was living in Mexico City, it was easy to work in the afternoons. I’d wake up late and start working about at 12 PM for a few hours. Here in the Pacific, during the hot season…that is not possible. By 3 PM, it is impossible to think due to the extreme heat. It took me about a month to adapt to the new working conditions, waking up at 6 AM and working till 3 PM. However, by this time it was already too late and I was already in a negative debt cycle. If I considered that I wouldn’t be able to work as I used to, I might have been able to pull this around…but my ignorance about the region took a month for me to adjust.Diseases and Pests
Getting Dengue was no joke. Fever, hurt body and no cure means that you’re in a constant state of fatigue. Working in digital marketing when you’re head is pounding is not an option. I lost 2 weeks of work just because of disease. My wife too was plagued for 90 days, in and out of the hospital [which had terrible healthcare] and as we’re about to leave…she still hasn’t recovered completely. This forced me to do everything. Make the money, cook the food, clean the house and so forth. The problem was that I spread myself too thin and started neglecting all areas of my life. To top it off, we had a tick infestation in the house [yet another regional problem] which created a living hell. If you’ve never had issues with a tick infestation…then you’re lucky. Ticks get into your psyche. One night I probably killed a few hundred. This was during a tropical storm and all the lights in the town went off for a few days. I had to fumigate the place three times to get rid of the ticks finally. It was hell, but the war was won. As you can imagine, this all took a toll on our emotional states and made us even more fatigued. If I did the due diligence of researching the region, I could have probably avoided all the pests and diseases…however, I didn’t which was another error I identified a bit too late.The lack of transportation
The place we rented was about 2 km away from the beach. Sure, it’s a 20-minute walk to the beach, but it’s also a 20 min walk to any store to buy food and a 20 min walk back to the house. Considering that I was the one cooking, cleaning and working, this completely drained me of all the energy I had. If we had transportation, it would have made things infinitely easier, but alas our van was out of commission and eventually would end up costing me about $3000 USD to get it back and operational again. Right now, as I am about to leave…I am forced to leave the van at the mechanic for them to fix it…I would then have to fly back and drive it up north. The blunder at the beginning of the journey by trying to climb a hill that was way too steep with a van that was overloaded cost me a great deal of suffering and money.The lack of art
Sure, San Pancho is a cultural and artistic place. The problem is that during the hot seasons this region is dead. There is a lack of opportunity to do art here and turn a profit. I would have been forced to do shitty bar gigs playing covers because the people in this area are conditioned to that style. You could maybe make $25 per 2 hours of gigging like this. Considering the costs of the place…it was definitely not a sustainable activity. As a result, I spent more time doing digital marketing than doing art. The entire purpose of coming to this area was to do the opposite. In fact, I worked more on things I didn’t want to do in this region than in Mexico City. This was a total disappointment for me and not to mention my wife, who left everything to follow me on this pursuit. Neither of us could be as creative as we liked. Furthermore, there was a lot of talented musicians in the area making the competition stiff. My music is unique and very different from them, but it would take me time to build up a fan base and actually make my art profitable. Time…I didn’t have.WHAT ARE THE LESSONS LEARNED?
Coming to San Pancho was a bad idea. It was spontaneous, adventures and completely idiotic. I didn’t plan anything, I assumed things would go my way. I believed that people in this region was different, I believed that this place was the same it used to be. I worked off a fictional idea I created in my mind and try to impose it on reality. I didn’t work on any backup plans and as a result, found myself accumulating debt until I was drowning in it. My van is still not fixed and will probably take a few months to get out of the shop. The only gig I managed to set up failed miserably. All in all, it was a harsh lesson to learn. Nobody is so special that the Universe will go out of its way to make things happen for you. You need to learn to walk within the vibrational frequencies of the universe (Which happens to be F#), to harmonize your will and the will of the Universe. Never assume that everything will go your way, rather, hope for the best but PLAN FOR THE WORST! The lesson I learned was seeing my own hubris. I ate my pride for breakfast, lunch and dinner…and it tasted like eggs! To say the least…I hate eggs! Right now I have lost everything, I created tension in my relationship, I don’t have money or a car and had to call my brother to come to get me a thousand kilometers away. I’m running on fumes and my emotional state is very shaky. I know that this moment will end…because like everything in life…things change. I know that leaving this place will give me some room to breathe, but even so, I’d have to work hard to rectify my mistakes. I realized that if you want to live as an artist, you need to have a passive income. Relying on your art or active revenue streams simply isn’t enough. Life can throw you a curveball at any time, and it usually happens on some random Tuesday at 3 PM. I write this case study with great humility, shedding light on my own folly. I do this for me, but I also do this for other artists who want to take the plunge into artistry. The path isn’t easy and if you are ill-prepared, you’ll only reap failure. Or perhaps you’re some godlike luck magnet and everything will go your way….but for the rest of us…this is not the case. So what can we take away from this?- Don’t assume….make sure!
- Hope for the best but plan for the worst
- Create several backup plans (3-5 at least)
- Listen to the counsel of those around you [in my case, my wife]
- Build a passive income stream to sustain yourself
- Know your limits
- When you fail…learn from your mistakes